weird dreams

I've been having a fair amount of weird dreams lately. I'm gonna record the latest one here, well, just because. I've got this ongoing theme involving scary dogs that continued on in this one. The last dream the scary dogs were starving and rabid, eating innocent children who were thrown into locked boxes with them against their will.This one the dogs weren't QUITE as scary....well, ok they were just not at first and in a different way.

I can't remember the beginning too well. I was starting what felt like another grad school class combined with something like group therapy or meditation. The teacher was like one of my grad school professors. The class happened outdoors, in this big nature reserve area. It was a forested place, with a variety of trees, as well as clear scrub land and grassy hills interspersed with bushes etc. Pretty nice. There was a shallow stream flowing by where we met on the first day, only an inch or so deep.

The teacher showed us how we would be accessing our secluded "classroom/meditation" area - if you knelt right in the middle of the water, put your hands down so that they were just touching the top of the water, and then pushed them and held them out forward, still touching the water lightly - you started floating forward across the top of the water, not getting wet at all - just skimming along the top, zooming like a little person-car. To change direction you just nudged that way with your arms, still maintaining contact with the top of the water. It was a smooth and easy sensation, awkward looking perhaps but quite fun. I remember the route to the spot for class or healing (it felt like both) became familiar very fast.

I had a partner who was going with me to class, first it was __ and at the end it was __, but I didn't notice the partner had changed till I woke up. Nothing weird happened with __ but I remember watching __ traveling to the spot once and noticing that he was trying to hurt himself before he got there. He'd try to break his fingers or bloody himself up at the shallowest part of the stream, where the water was only a few millimeters deep and had rocks jutting out of it, before arriving -- perhaps to look extra hurt, I think to gain some sort extra care or attention though I'm not sure about that. I remember being concerned and wanting to prevent him from doing this.

The dream shifted a bit at this point. I found myself on my way to class at night, just getting started floating on the stream towards the spot. As I zoomed cheerfully around a bend in the stream a dog, I believe a rottweiler, started barking ferociously at me from one of the banks; I was startled for a moment until I realized it was chained up and couldn't attack me. I relaxed and kept going, relieved it was tied up. But as I continued, I noticed I'd missed a turn in the stream and was continuing up another part of the stream. It flowed along  the edge of a grassy ravine, and on the other side of the ravine were three or four gigantic dogs, not like the rottweiler, which was normal in size.

At this point it had shifted from night to brilliant blue skied day, although I was still in time for class. These new dogs looked like Great Danes and were the size of small horses, their coats were shiny and they were quite healthy and not really mean looking, as far as dogs go. I was still afraid of them though, because I knew they were on patrol, looking for people to attack. Perhaps they were guarding something and I was not welcome. I could see in a little while the ravine sloped up and connected with the level of land I was on, I was heading towards that on one side while the dogs headed towards it on the other side, sort of chasing me from across the way I suspect. Knowing I should stop going this direction, I jumped out of the stream and reoriented myself on land for a moment. I started running back but stopped, not sure what to do. The dogs were making ground fast, although they seemed to have lost track of where I was, it wasn't going to be long until they were right on top of me. I was worried about the class, I didn't want the dogs to find them and attack them. I thought of trying to run back and find them. I hesitated more, thinking it was pretty unlikely I'd be able to outrun the dogs. I started looking around for a good tree to climb to escape the dogs, getting more and more frantic and paralyzed by fear as the dogs loped around the edge of the ravine.........and thats when I woke up.

Now from what my therapist has said, and what I suspected from my first dog dream, the dogs, in one way, have something to do with a part of myself I'm afraid of. Some drive thats overtaken me in some way. I kinda think they're representative of my sexuality, which went on a rampage this year, taking the reigns for the first time in my life after being torn asunder in at least one, probably multiple, incidents that occurred. Obviously I'm afraid of it immensely. The chained dog was scary but controllable, so I was ok with that. The great danes, however, I'm not sure where to go with that yet. At least they were healthy and free, in a sense, unlike the rabid starving dogs of the previous dream. But at the same time they were the ones in charge, and they freaked me the hell out. Eh, ok, well, I'm done. I wanted to write it down before I forgot. My mom woke me up but she's gone now. So...i'll try to sleep.

Its sad, I'm all on edge from a dream about dogs....