I just have so much washing through me right now it seemed as though I could write more. I like keeping my blog posts sorta on one topic...and not have some massive rambling lame piece about a bunch of different things all mushed together.
Although realistically this whole things already like that heh. It feels kinda silly to be blogging about myself like this anyway. But I'm going to overlook that stupid self conscious thought and keep doing it, with the hope that it is in some way cathartic.
Well, I guess this one I wanted to mention how I'm feeling overall right now:
Pretty sad. But...hopeful...maybe...I'm trying to be anyway. I want things to get better and better and better!! For everyone I care for....some more than others...but really everyone. Because I think I'd feel so much better then too, to be simple and childish about it again.
Is it bad or selfish that I am happier around people who are so unhappy, people who I have just added burdens to by being myself around them, just because I love being with them? That I want to continue to be with them even if its not good for them? If it gets in their way of healing themselves?
There really truly is a strong pull to be, to really, fully be, with someone. Ultimately, its everyone, but its also rather specific. Weird.
And as I learn more about depth psychology I'm going to learn that I have a HUUUUGE mother complex and all sorts of other things I'm sure. haha.
I also know that now I have a better opportunity to do what I've probably been avoiding doing for a large part lately: working more on myself. Hence, I blog.
As I said, I'm pretty sad...
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