Is it right to let go of your own blood?

The cOnfrontation with my mother Sunday evening was very difficult and confusing and painful, just as I would have expected. She essentially said she would stop talking to him but that she did not think it was such a huge deal and that it was a gift to be able to forgive even the ones who had hurt you most. I feel as though that is well...an appalling thing to say to your child when she comes to you and pleads with you to stop being friends with a man who essentially raped her and destroyed her ability to trust herself and other peoples emotions/behavior...and it also doesn't directly apply to the original request at all. You can try to forgive a murderer, as he is still only human and ultimately we all have the capacity for such actions, but you do NOT by any means have to remain friends with him, or care about his wellbeing beyond hoping that he will see the error of his ways and find salvation etc....but my mom equates talking to this "healer" who blatantly took advantage of the all too trusting environment of my family home as being able to forgive him.

All this tells me is that my mother truly doesn't know how to care for my feelings. And as an indirect result of MY FEELINGS BEING IMPORTANT TO MYSELF AND HOW I OPERATE I have come to he conclusion that she cannot truly care about me either. Even I in some twisted way she does care, I canncannot continue to expose myself to this kind of hurtful behavior.

Because of this, I have begun to consider more thoroughly detaching myself from my family. It was so painful to be around them this last trip, and I'm starting to realize that many of he panic attack moments I've had and all the sleep terrors and so forth are probably related to my continual exposure to these mixed signals of sorts from my mother, who one minute tells me she loves me and en the next minute stomps all over my feelings and kind of inadvertently relieves herself of all of her own anxiety and pain.

And ye part of menus so strongly resistant to the idea of separating myself from my mother, and my family, who all seem to be rather unsupportive in this matter, unable to understand or accept the validity of my feelings about K or other things, as it has been over a year and supposedly I'm supposed to be over it and be able to forgive and forget I guess??!

I'm all up and down as usual. Am I being too hard on my family? Should I just accept that they cannot be there for me in this matter, that thu cannot understand? Or do I jus cut things off with then for a while, maybe a long while, so I can continue to strengthen myself until I am ready to stand solidly against their current of mixed messages and selfish perspectives...?

Oh and of course my mother has still not removed K from her Facebook.