I'm having trouble focusing on anything right now. My face is a terrible mess, as bad as it was last year around this time, but in a worse way because its harder to hide it behind my hair. I've been trying so hard not to use any of the harsh chemical stuff I was using daily to keep it clean.... and it just doesn't seem to work without it. Maybe I will just go back to it, my face is too oily and disgusting to prevent these horrible breakouts without it. Fucking a I'm going to be 25 on friday and I look like a pizza faced 15 year old. I'm so sick of looking so monstrous and bumpy. And it stings and it itches and my skin gets so dry even moving my mouth to speak pulls on all the cysts and pimples and causes even more irritation, but I can't touch it or it breaks out more, I don't want to move or say anything all day and night, and I can't face anyone without putting makeup on....I went nearly two days without makeup and it was so depressing, the whole time I felt gawked at like a carnival freak. I just want to curl up in my room in the dark and not move as much as possible until my face stops looking and feeling so horrible....
I've tried so many different angles to solve this problem and its just not going away. WHAT IS THE SECRET??? WHY DO I GET THESE MONSTROUS GROWTHS ON MY FACE?! I just want to be normal....just a little bit....
It makes it worse that if it wasn't for this skin problem I would be beautiful to a large degree. I got some very pretty dresses today, but with my face as horrid as it is, I don't feel pretty wearing them. Please God, if you really want me to believe in you, let me enjoy being young and healthy looking for at least a few of my young adult years.... just tell me what to do....................
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