I love how the Lord can guide me even when I'm completely incapable of understanding anything.
And its one of those things...that I know sounds crazy if you aren't "in on it" with God. Haha, if you don't have the Word...or Christ...it just sounds crazy. Deluded.
But it is the one thing that is undoubtedly beyond human comprehension. From just a human perspective, yes it still sounds like utter foolishness to point to something and say, "God did that." But with the Spirit inside me, it is different. The discernment within is no longer human, because God is so beyond that limitation. We are such imperfect little siphons of his Spirit that of course we only catch glimpses of His work in our lives! So yes perhaps some of it is still marred by my own interference. But the joy I feel from His presence is different. Nothing I say or do can describe it, just like nothing I say or do to an unbeliever can make it sound any more rational. It so not of this world, and if all you have and know is the world....of course...
It is SO different, so BEYOND the most beautiful sensations or thoughts of this world, of my entire life before this point. I realize now so much that the desire every human being so longs to fulfill is simply to find God and be reunited. That longing for connection, for real connection, with anyone else is impossible if you take God out of the equation. We are all the same. Just as we cannot fulfill that connection by ourselves, so we cannot fulfill it with each other. It takes what we lack, what we all lack, to fill that void. That unspeakable void that none of us ever wants to look at let alone admit to.
This is what I have been searching for all of my life. And it is worth every ounce of suffering I've experienced to find it. And it will always be worth so much more. More than anything.
These words and this soul are all so insignificant, but they are all for you.
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