I wonder what the innermost thoughts, feelings, and impressions of a mote are.
Or even better, the mote sitting on top of another mote, floating past millions of other motes with motes on top of them. All of which are within the shadow cast from another mote.
Oh, I suppose I might have some familiarity with the thoughts of that mote. And to absolutely no ones' surprise, a mote is not all that interesting. Motes don't really think very clearly, being motes of course. It's hard not to get caught up in whatever distractions show up in the present moment (a mote-ment).
How strange and silly it must seem to the other motes what one mote can be so entirely caught up in thinking about.
It seems to me, a very motley sort of mote, that deep within every mote there is the knowledge of their smallness. It is a scary and unsettling realization for most motes. The reaction this triggers must be seen in their individual attempts to defy their position. Sadly, all attempts are but a fantasy, based off the very smallness each mote wishes to defy.
I must say this sort of thought pattern scares me quite a bit. How can one mote then say, "I know the truth about my mote-ness!" Our mote-ness inhibits us from knowing the truth.
How hard is it to break away from ones motely attitudes and admit to their stature? Very difficult, to do so truly and completely, probably impossible. Unless something outside the mote changes it's nature just a little bit. Aha! Self awareness! Aha! The ability to think at all!
Aha! And awe! The grace of the Spirit, planted within the heart of a silly, insignificant, speck of dust.
It is indescribable. And so far away from the normal mote-driven fantasies of significance, though to those still trapped in their own mote-sighted space, it appears to be yet another delusion.
I'm so tired of my Mote-centeredness. It is so small, so trivial; truly pointless. What good is it for a mote on a mote in a mote to think only of itself? No good at all, obviously! But that is most of us, every mote-ment of every day. Oh how I cherish the moments of escape from this. I cannot get enough, and its my mote fault.
But why the God of Christianity? Why not the other concepts claiming to be beyond our own mote-spiration? Am I over-emphasizing on the motes yet? Over-mote-isizing?
Simply enough, it is the best we as motes have. We get so caught up in our beliefs, our faiths, in our mote-science and our mote-philosophies, that we forget that they are all faiths. They are all based upon what we as little motes can perceive and put into words. Even this! Even this! Yes, yes, yes. But all of our mote science and mote history has yet to disprove this thing we call the Word. There is certainly a lot of insulting disbelief and libel thrown at it, most malignantly. This I suppose comes also from our need to deny our smallness, in part. But our own mote perceptions shout to us that it is true. The laws our mote science and logic are based on say, "We would not be here if not for the one who put us here! Don't you see?" We want so desperately to be bigger than we are that we try to prop ourselves up to the level of the Creator, saying, "It was our human ingenuity that discovered the laws and keeps the world in its place. Don't you see? See what I see. What we motes want to see."
Why do we crave to be so much bigger than we actually are? Why should this even matter? Perhaps that smallness within us also tells us that there is something out there so much greater than we alone could ever be. It craves to be with that greatness. We want to be with God! We, in our mote-centeredness, have separated ourselves in a very confounding way from the one thing we really want, Greatness.Our Lord is that Greatness. Clearly. So, so clearly.
I hate how my moteness wants to puff itself up even now through these words: "Oh look how smart you are, conveying these things so eloquently." But these words are even smaller than me! So much smaller. But trying to convey so much. Oh Lord. Seriously. Oh, Lord. Any clarity I get is from you. If these words hold any Truth, that truth is from YOU!
Christianity gives us a chance to go beyond our mote fantasies. Our mote science, our mote-centeredness. I've had the chance to be a Buddhist, a Muslim, a New Age hippie hipster type. And none of them do that! NONE of them. All of their teachings say to embrace mote-dom in one way or another, many of them quite rapturously. Of course, this is me, a, if not the, most mockable mote of motes, saying all of this.
Oh Lord, thank you for trying to explain yourSelf to us, such a small part of what you have Done!
Please keep me as awake as I, your humble (or trying to be) mote is meant to be. Not what I want to be, not what anyone else wants me to be. What You meant me to be.
That is the fight, the ultimately fight, of any mote's life. To escape the small-mindedness of our smallness and to realize we are not at all as significant or even as good as we would like to believe.
Because if we believe we are good, or worth anything, without the grace of God cast upon us, we have already lost.
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