Applying for jobs is truly awful. I've revamped my resume about 4054353458 times now, but apparently I've still been doing it wrong. I'm not used to having issue with this sort of thing. Not that I've had a lot of job experience, but the ones I have had didn't involve having a perfect resume. I usually just got to the interview and BAM I had the job... stupid resumes....and stuff. I got rejected by BRU because I failed the personality test. Pretty sure thats what happened anyway. And that makes me SUPER anxious and annoyed and just devastated because I worked there, and if I recall correctly I worked VERY WELL there. Oh well... just gotta take it as what it is...an employer's market.
Perzy wants me to lie on my application to get work... I have so many qualms about doing that. I don't think I should. It feels wrong. I've decided that I really want to live an honest life, and I know that is going to be hard in this world where dishonesty and manipulation seems to get you much farther.... but I don't care. Its not about what makes life easier, its about what is right to me, and what is right in being a servant of the Lord. And I don't even want to care how crazy that last bit sounds to the non believer (as I know that it does, as theres a little doubter inside me who keeps poking me for saying it).
Anyway, done with stupid oral exam, shew! the examiners made me cry for a few hours or days after, but I think thats just because I'm supremely fragile when it comes to academic performance. Definitely something I need to work on intensely. A couple more papers to write before the 1st, hopefulyl won't be too stressful....
And then my thesis. Which is UGH! Dont want to write! I've had to write hundreds of pages by now and another 60+ for one topic doesn't sound fun to write, even if it is an intriguing topic... I think I'm just tired. But then what else am I even good at? Apparently nothing, as no one wants to hire me. HAH! Yeah, who knows, this job stuff is dumb. ARRRGHH
I'm selling books on amazon now too. Woohoo first sale today! We shall see how it goes. not a huge moneymaker though either way, but every bit helps.
It looks like we are gonna stick it out in the apt we are in currently, we had thought we were going to be moving out, but I guess not for the time being. I'm really worried about money, of which we have very little, and by the time next month comes around, we will have even less than very little, more like next to nothing, or rather...pretty much nothing.
I'm determined though. I hope that my determination is enough.
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