WHY AM I SO UGLY? I guess if I was normal ugly from the start it wouldn’t be so bad. But my ugliness has gotten worse with age, I think. And the worst thing is, some people call me pretty, or beautiful, or whatever. Why do they tell me I’m so beautiful? It just makes it hurt all the more when I look in the mirror and see how inaccurate they are. Its like they do it just to point out to me again that I’m a disgusting, ill-bred creature that causes everyone who sees to stare with eyes wide before they look away hurriedly, hoping I didn't notice. Maybe what it is is that they can see how I might have actually been beautiful, if my skin wasn't so horrid and my overall facial structure wasn't so deformed. They see the hints of beauty, the odd angle or two where things look relatively proportional and symmetrical, and the skin stuff isn't too noticeable. And then the angles adjust and they see the grossness, all of my ugliness in conjunction with the potential for some amount of beauty buried deep underneath...
I know this to be true, all of it! I know it! I know it is true and no matter what anyone says, they're lying! They don't want me to be aware of how ugly and weird I am, for some reason. They try to make me feel better with their lies about me, calling me beautiful as if it was even true in reality. STOP CALLING ME BEAUTIFUL DAMMIT
I know this to be true, all of it! I know it! I know it is true and no matter what anyone says, they're lying! They don't want me to be aware of how ugly and weird I am, for some reason. They try to make me feel better with their lies about me, calling me beautiful as if it was even true in reality. STOP CALLING ME BEAUTIFUL DAMMIT
God dammit, why am I so insecure? And why can I have these brief moments where I step back from my own personal madness and see things for how they really are? I know I’m completely off step about all this shit but it doesn’t stop me from getting sucked into it over and over again…….
Every time I think about my face, I just want to shrivel up and die. Thats how bad it is right now. Fuck me. I'm an idiot.No, I'm worse than just an idiot, at least they have the possibility of loving themselves. I'm a shallow idiotic slug with no self esteem.
I'm trying so hard to be a woman right now, but I can't. I don't look like a woman. I don't have the necessary bits, the mannerisms, the hygeine, the ability to style myself properly. The face, etc. I'm just some piece of shit creature with no real level of phsyical attractiveness whatsoever, no identifiable gender.... lkasjglaksjg;lkfgja i might as well shutup this self loathing is just making me feel even more pathetic
I'm trying so hard to be a woman right now, but I can't. I don't look like a woman. I don't have the necessary bits, the mannerisms, the hygeine, the ability to style myself properly. The face, etc. I'm just some piece of shit creature with no real level of phsyical attractiveness whatsoever, no identifiable gender.... lkasjglaksjg;lkfgja i might as well shutup this self loathing is just making me feel even more pathetic
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