I have been soooo confused the last few days. Starting to feel really disillusioned....again....
I just keep going back and forth about what I want to do with myself. Who do I want to be with.... one or the other? both (in differing capacities?? and in which capacity to each??) ??
Its been difficult. Frustrating, kinda painful.....well, mostly just...difficult. Its like a constant uphill climb with this guy. Sure its a great workout but I am not the type of person who likes to be hiking ALL the time with little more than a 15 minute breather every once and a while. Haha how odd...another mountain-esque comparison.
What it points to at its core is again that I just need more balance. I've stilll been unable to give this to myself. Or to gain it in my current situation anyway. Which is making me feel like I should just give up this endeavor.
All my financial trouble has made me start thinking its really time for me to get a job again. I just found out that my old job at the RRL is looking for hirees again.....what a surprise, with the horrible management and all around unpleasant work it involves.... but its pretty good money and the hours aren't so bad....sooo I probably should reapply. I don't see why they wouldn't hire me back.. I left on good standing....
Itll probably help me balanace tbings out to!
MORE LATER!
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