Joy to the world....!
Well the year is almost spent, and where am I ? Still lost in a haze, somewhere. It doesn't help that my contacts keep blurring up every two seconds. And they've only been used one day! Ridiculous. Wah, wah, wah...
I don't even feel like writing this right now. Don't even feel like it. Guh, I feel so utterly half-heartededly about everything right now. Its terrible. I hate it...kinda....ehhh...blehh.....
really don't even care that its a new year, nothings gonna change. I'm still gonna be stuck in this rut in 2014. Shouldn't say that... I have so much to be happy about ...but I find myself restless and weary and just really so deeply stuck in this rut...
Just gonna freakin sit here like an idiotic lump, nestled up in my little spot on the couch, listening to the infrequent booming of fireworks and buzzing from the electrical system in this house...
Why can't I enjoy myself right now? Is this depression? What a stupid label that does absolutely nothing but hinder any treatment of what it is...if that makes sense...eh...
I feel so paralyzed by this haze I'm in. There are things I want to do that I simply cannot do. I can't even face them... its not good. Not at all.
Another day wasted, like so many. Why does this matter? I don't even know... how could i fool myself into thinking I could be what one might deem successful in a world like the one we live in.... I can't do it.... I can't I just can't keep it up its too much... bu.h........h....
everything just seems so pointless...for me...anyway....
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