This is my story, this is my song

Do you realize who it is, you are seeking for?

Do you, realize?

How can you be so flippant?

How can you ignore it so ?

A parent to its child.

Is seeing always believing?

Or do we see what we believe ? 

And if one thing we see is just what we believe, how do we determine which is real and which is fake ? Consensus? Do all square pegs fit into the same square shaped holes? 

So what is truth?

Is the only hope to seek outside of ourselves for the answers ? 

Decisions

Too many voices inside my head

Telling me what is best

Take out the trash, 

Don't be crazy!

What do YOU want?

What is wrong with right here?

How come you can't let go?

Don't treat me like that!

Please, just stop this endless suffering.

What good will come of any of it?

How could you let this happen?

Who are you even?

Just do as you should.

Just do as you should.

This is what you should want.

Don't let them win!

Don't leave me!

It's over. Give up.

If you bend you're gonna break! 

Watch as I break you.

I can't believe you would betray me like this.

Get out of my sight you hideous, sniveling thing!

Keep telling yourself you're in control and it'll be true..

I miss you...

Do what's best for you! 

But what about me?

I'm so frustrated and it's all your fault.

Who will tell me who I am?

How can I separate my voice from amidst such a din?

What do I want? What do I really want ?

Will I ever truly know?

Can I? 

Should I? 

Leave it alone, leave it alone, leave it alone....

Let the emotions settle down so you can think. 

Too much too much too much...

Gymnopédie

The last enemy to be destroyed is death.



















So, what is the delusion...death, or life?















Why even ask such a question?

As I sleep

A sign drawn in the sand
And a touch of a stranger's hand
I wonder what it means

Time spinning round and round in this space
Then it's gone without a trace
I wonder where it goes

Deep in the night when I hear no sound
I feel my heartbeat slowing down
My mind's released and free to wander
As I sleep

The past buried deep inside my head
All the words that have gone unsaid
I just want to let them go

Life on a distant star
Or a boat to where the wild things are
I just want to let it flow

Deep in the night when I hear no sound
I feel my heartbeat slowing down
My mind's released and free to wander
As I sleep

If you're quiet you'll hear the sound
Bits of the world as it spins around
We feel lost and we feel found
When we sleep


When we sleep
Sleep

Two worlds colliding in my head
I watch you as you sleep

Two worlds colliding in my head
Two worlds colliding in my head
Two worlds
Colliding in my head

In This Place

In this place,
there is nothing
permanent.
Everything can be replaced,
or broken;
worn down, abandoned...

In this place,
you watch
the light fade
in the eyes of those you love
as they are torn away;
asleep.

In this place,
we are ruled
by clever savages
who have learned
how to survive
amidst desolation
and chaos.

In this place,
We live in darkness,
sprinkled with moments
of peace, joy, pleasure...
Latching on to the hope
that each day will bring us more.

Until we realize,

that,

In this place...

Nothing will ever be
quite as it should.

And we will never know
quite

what it is
that we
are
truly looking for.

blankets of night

I hope you always know how much you are loved.

My dearest Sweetness,

You have and are my heart.

Every single moment, heart beating and in love,
I am in awe of what I discover in you.

In awe of what I want to share with you,

and you

alone.



 You don't have to be alone, anymore.

(and neither do I!)



I don't care if my don't cares sound cheesy,
or if what I don't care about
sounds even cheesier... because its all true.

I look at your beautiful face, your eyes, and I see your stillness,

your thoughtfulness,

your acuity,

but most of all I see security.

Someone who is for certain.

Someone who will never give up,

Someone who will never fail me,

Someone who truly loves me, for me...

Someone who is real.

Someone who can tell me what is real, and what is just a harmless dream,

its all ok, nothing will hurt you anymore, you are safe now, with me.

Someone who will always do what is good, and true, and pure.

And I hope you never forget how much you are loved...




 If there was anything in this world that I was made to do, it would be to love you.


To show you wondrous, colorful, vibrant love.

And even this must be pale in comparison to what awaits us in heaven, with God.

It is so important you remember, you are loved...

Because we know that all that is beautiful and good comes from the Lord,

and this love for you is so beautiful, and so good, it can only come from one place...


I hope I can always remember to be so truly thankful for what we have been given, what a gift. What a blessing. A miracle. God is so good. So beautiful beyond words. What good gifts He gives us, it is only right for us to give as much as we can to show our love and gratitude. We mustn't be complacent in our faithfulness.

Pray.

I love you.

And Oh Lord, how I want to love You.

Help !!!!

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Here are the titles that show up on my social media feeds.... yes. Feed is an apt word to dub these click bait distractions from hell.

So many layers of distraction upon distraction via a small rectangular object. Sometimes, it feels like the glow from the screen punctures through my retinas into the back of my eye sockets, radiation seeping into my brain cavity and melting the mind that lies within it.

What a waste of time, energy....a waste of sheer life force.

I must escape!!!

Ahhhhh!!!!