Teeming with emptiness , the grid reflects light but also death

How sensational is it to cast ones gaze across a landscape so seemingly vibrant, full of the buzzing signs of humanity all scrunched into a few dozen miles of land stretching across the horizon... 

It almost could seem endless, in a way. Breathtaking at first. Invigorating for a moment... But that moment is so swiftly over and forgotten. And then what was it, really, being so temporary? How beautifully representative of so many experiences here on this earth.  

How incredibly important it becomes to seek out the things that you will never forget. 

Here is where I introduce myself

There are just some days where I really lose my grasp on what is true and what is not true.

Is that what shock is?

Astonishment; incredulity?

I need to be more selfish. Ok, well, more selfish in the RIGHT way... not the way I currently am, which is all wrong. Wait, what?

Where is this coming from?

Doesn't that matter, somewhat?

Maybe I'm just losing it again...

Dang it.

Disfigured...

Why did I have to look there?

It would have been so much easier if I had remained in blissful ignorance?

What would I be doing right now, if so? Happily asleep, awaiting my prince?

Why have I been doing this, if its only a sham?

Is the sham the sham?

It's sort of fun to pretend these are all different thoughts from different people... because I am so immersed in mental illness, my fragmented sense of self enjoys a showcase. 

Okay.