God is Good :)

Finally got a computer in my room. And a desk. So many lovely donations from church members and friends. And I have my old Saitek keyboard that I love so much back too! Its awesome.

Wow, so much has been happening. I don't even know where to begin...

A lot of things are finally start to come together...starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I mostly mean in an emotional way, for me and for Nick, and for both of our families/our issues with our families. Its weird how something like a dying family member brings everyone back together...and even though its sad to see, and to say goodbye, it brings about the beginning of a whole new chapter in one's life. Suddenly all of those old melodramatic little spats don't have any hold on you and you can come back into your family's life. All the members can come back together. Well. It might be too soon to see. Thats all Nick's family stuff though.


For me, I think I'm even closer than ever before to touching that inner part of myself I'd never been able to identify. It is most simply, God, through the Holy Spirit. The secularist student in me still retches a little bit when I say things like that...but I know its true. It is pure, unadultered love and joy and peace, channelled through something not from this world, but from God, the source of all life and all things seen and unseen. How can I deny something that I've always felt? Something that I know has always made me the joyful person I am, in spite of most hardship?

And now I've seen miracles too. I've been holding Nick at night as he writhes in agony from his porphyria...unable to sleep or get comfortable...totally sick, mentally, physically, emotionally..and just helpless. And just in the last couple of nights...without saying anything to Nick, without him even knowing....I prayed for God to cast out his pain and illness. I truly and deeply prayed from that space inside myself, I was able to feel the unending love and connection that is always there, and feel secure that my prayers were answered. And in that moment, Nick became still. He fell deeply asleep, and remained that way for hours. He is again tonight sleeping, snoring quite loudly actually.

After struggling for years with this pain... with no medication helping more than just a little with the symptoms...he is able to sleep. Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!!! THANK YOU God!!